Is My Partner a Narcissist? Relationship Patterns Test

What this test looks at

“Narcissist” has become the word people reach for when someone is charming, then cold; confident, then fragile; loving, then cruel. Sometimes it fits. Often it flattens something more specific.

This test doesn’t ask you to guess what your partner secretly believes. It asks how often specific, observable behaviors happen — and groups them into six patterns commonly associated with narcissistic traits.

• EmpathyWhether your feelings register and matter to them.
• AccountabilityWhat happens when they get something wrong.
• Need for validationHow much their mood depends on admiration.
• ControlWho makes decisions and how independence is treated.
• Boundary respectWhether “no” and privacy are honored.
• Idealization / devaluationSwings between putting you up and pulling you down.

How to answer

Answer for the last few months rather than one bad day. If a question doesn’t quite fit, pick the answer closest to what usually happens. There are no trick questions and nothing is saved on a server.

What your result can — and can’t — tell you

You’ll see an overall pattern level, a breakdown by dimension, and the specific behaviors that stood out in your answers. It can’t diagnose anyone or tell you what another person thinks or intends. It shows the shape of what you’re experiencing.

This is a structured reflective assessment, informed by relationship research but not a validated clinical instrument. How we build our tests

Questions people ask

Can an online test tell me if my partner is a narcissist?

No. Narcissistic Personality Disorder can only be diagnosed by a clinician who assesses the person directly. This test measures how often specific behaviors happen in your relationship and shows which patterns commonly associated with narcissistic traits are present.

What’s the difference between narcissistic traits and NPD?

Traits exist on a spectrum and most people show some of them sometimes. NPD is a clinical diagnosis describing a pervasive, long-standing pattern that causes significant impairment. A relationship can contain narcissistic patterns without anyone meeting the criteria for a disorder.

Is this test anonymous?

Yes. There’s no account, no email and your answers are scored in your browser. Shared result links contain only the overall level, never your answers.